


Bitters

by neon



Series: The Red Shot Bar AU: Specials [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Night Terrors, Panic Attacks, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29891829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neon/pseuds/neon
Summary: Part of theRed Shot Bar AU: Avalanche doesn’t exist. Barret is the owner of theRed Shotbar in Sector 7’s slum, and Cloud is the former SOLDIER turned mercenary who’s rolled into town.“Rufus.”Cloud came to an abrupt halt on the street. Couldn’t believe what he was seeing –whohe was seeing, in the Sector 7 slums.
Relationships: Cloud Strife/Barret Wallace, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: The Red Shot Bar AU: Specials [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197836
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	Bitters

**Author's Note:**

> _"So, what… you got hurt before, when? During the war?"_ \- Hangover (Second Round)
> 
>  _People paid a price whether they followed, or disobeyed. Freedom cost even higher, and Cloud wasn't going to sell his ever again._ \- Paying the Tab
> 
>  _Guessed Barret had never asked about Cloud’s previous partners._ \- Know When to Cut Off
> 
>  _Before Barret, it had been a damn long time since he’d been able to completely relax. Just_ be _with someone._ \- Slurred Speech
> 
> Hi. I've been wanting to write RS!Cloud's backstory for a very long time. This is a WIP, and updates are going to be slow and haphazard. But here's the beginning.
> 
> Barret and Cloud are together in the present, but this fic is going to heavily focus on Cloud and Zack's relationship, FYI. Rating will go up to Explicit, when we get there. Also, please look at the tags and take care of yourselves, if needed.
> 
> And thank you, Eva, for the title!

“ _Rufus.”_

Cloud came to an abrupt halt on the street. Couldn’t believe what he was seeing – _who_ he was seeing, in the Sector 7 slums.

He regarded Cloud with his pale gaze. Rufus may have been going for inconspicuous, but there was no downplaying that icy countenance.

Not good. Whatever reason Rufus Shinra was there – but it had to be for him. Cloud, ex-SOLDIER on the run, who had stopped running. Only a matter of time before Shinra caught up. Stupid. He was so stupid. The whole time he’d just been putting everyone in danger–

Marlene.

Threat in Sector 7, and his first thought was where Marlene was. For a second, he felt like Barret – and _that_ thought was enough for him to shake off his panic. Focus, snapped Cloud at himself, Your enemy is in front of you. Marlene should’ve gotten out of schooling by then, should’ve been back home at the bar. There could’ve been a chance Rufus didn’t know about her, or Barret.

“There you are,” said Rufus.

No matter what, Cloud wasn’t going to let Rufus take one step further inside his home.

“Thought I told you… if I ever saw you again, you were dead.”

Rufus only chuckled, _Hmph_. Cloud was done messing around. He reached behind his head for the hilt of his sword.

Rufus’ tut made him frown, and falter. “Wouldn’t, if I were you.”

He sent his cool gaze over Cloud’s shoulder. Cloud eventually dared to look. Up at the rooftops, where he got blinded by the intentional flash of a scope. A sniper, huh. There were others – three of them. Had to be the Turks.

Cloud’s fingers twitched even then to grasp his sword. Before he dropped his hand, facing Rufus again. “You bastard…”

“Tell me, where’s the fun in playing fair?”

Cloud scoffed, disgusted. “Should’ve known, with you.”

“Thinking of the last time you and I saw each other?” Rufus’ eyes glittered. “It was a night to remember–”

With a sneer, Cloud cut him off. “Just what the hell do you want?”

“I come,” answered Rufus, his hand folding inside his pocket, “Bearing a gift, Cloud.”

Cloud was ready for the move. In a flash the edge of his sword hung in front of Rufus’ throat.

Rufus had raised his free hand – not in surrender, but in signal. Signal to halt, apparently, since there was no bullet Cloud had to dodge. He straightened his arm outward for Cloud to take whatever he’d pulled forth. Small enough to be concealed by his grasp. “Consider this an olive branch.”

An olive branch?

Warily, and probably stupidly, Cloud tipped back his sword. Took a step closer. Stubbornly he hung his palm below Rufus’, for him to deposit the–

Pendant. One shaped like the head of a wolf.

Cloud stared down at it. Cloud stared, and stared down at it. Stared at nothing else. Distantly, he was aware how erratic his breathing was becoming. How hard his fingers were shaking. How dully his heart was pounding. And how his eyes were stinging–

He curled his hand carefully, and covered the wolf’s face. The cold bite of metal on his skin brought him back. His voice was a low threat. “…Just _how long_ have you had this?”

Rufus dismissed the tone. “Just be glad it’s in your possession once more. I know how much value it has to–”

Cloud seethed. _“You don’t know shit, asshole.”_

Finally Rufus was made to shut the hell up, when Cloud’s mako glower rose and trained sharp on him. Cloud demanded, “Why are you giving it to me?”

At Rufus’ silence, Cloud scowled. He was about to shout, _Rufus!_ when Rufus interrupted.

“To mark a new beginning. Atone, for… the regrettable actions I took in my past. I’ve let sleeping dogs lie too long.”

Words Cloud never would’ve expected to come out of Rufus Shinra’s mouth. Shinra was all about burying its secrets. “…Why the change of heart?”

Cloud was being assessed. Apparently Rufus decided to confide the truth, or something of it. “One must face the past, in order to build a brighter future. And I intend to build the brightest.”

Only way Midgar had changed was for the worst, ever since it was built. Cloud seriously doubted another Shinra was going to get the job right. “Yeah, well… I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“You will.” Still an arrogant bastard. He sent his gaze deliberately to Cloud’s hand. “Have you accepted my olive branch, then?”

Cloud’s fingers twitched. He, too, considered Rufus carefully. Came to his own decision.

“No.” He could feel the metal edges scoring his palm. “Not after what you did.”

Rufus sighed, almost inaudibly, through his nose. Like he had any right to be disappointed. “Cloud. I–”

“Word of advice, Rufus. When you’re going around waking the rest of your sleeping dogs, don’t be surprised most have been dreaming of taking a bite.”

“…I’ll take that into consideration.”

“Whatever. Just do it away from Sector 7. Like I told you, next time I see you, you’re a dead man. Get the hell out of my town.”

Rufus, eventually, smirked. He strode past Cloud, toward the station, speaking over his shoulder evenly.

“Don’t worry. Your family’s safe. A delivery was truly my only reason for coming here. Farewell, Cloud.”

Long after Rufus was gone, Cloud stared at his closed hand. Then he shoved his fist and what it held deep inside his pocket. He stayed, before finally letting go, swiveling toward the bar to check it out and see for himself that everyone was fine.

* * *

Cloud told Barret to go to bed. He’d startled back awake from his chin dipping too low and hitting his chest, again.

He rubbed his eye and grumbled, “Not without you.”

Cloud sighed, just as the song ended from the jukebox in the _Red Shot’s_ corner. He set his sword polish down on the table he’d taken over, not bothering to pack it up or any of the other assorted supplies he had sitting out. Sword didn’t really need attention. But Cloud’s hands had been as restless as him. He hadn’t been sleeping. And Barret had been worrying too much.

“Come on, then.”

He climbed into bed just so Barret would. Ended up on Barret’s chest, layered by Barret’s arm and then the covers. Great – now he could be exhausted _and_ bored. Cloud sighed again. He knew he was being irritable, even more than he usually was.

“You being stubborn isn’t going to fix this problem, Barret.”

After a great yawn, that lifted and lowered Cloud, Barret let out an extra chuff. “Always worked out for me before. Maybe if I knew what needed fixin’, I could try out a different plan.”

Cloud was silent. Obviously, Barret knew something was up. These no sleep spells weren’t new for Cloud. But Barret was keen. Definitely could tell there was more going on, even though Cloud waved it off. Maybe _because_ Cloud waved it off. Stupid, to think Barret wouldn’t notice when a wall that wasn’t there before had sprung up.

Cloud could’ve cast a sleep spell on himself. That would’ve taken care of the problem. Except truth was, Cloud didn’t want to sleep. Even bigger truth was – he was afraid to. Knew what waited in his head. No sleeping dogs here, he wryly thought. The damn past hounded him, always. Stalking, waiting for the moment his defenses were down, to lunge and clamp on.

The mirrored eyes, sitting at the foot of the bed in the dark, he ignored. That many nights without sleep, the hallucinations were something he was used to having, too.

He burrowed deeper into Barret, who groggily picked up his hand and molded it on top of his chest. He mumbled, “You ever try… countin’ chocobos… backwards…”

Cloud couldn’t help shaking from holding in a laugh. Maybe he was kind of delirious. “Not actually that great a method.”

Barret’s hum acknowledging that was delayed. His breaths were already deeper. At least he’d found sleep, then. Cloud resettled his cheek to press more flat to Barret’s warm skin.

He didn’t realize when his breaths synced with Barret’s slow ones, or when his eyes drifted shut. Didn’t realize when he lost, to sleep.

The teeth sunk, and dragged him back.

He was caught in a sudden downpour. On his blood-soaked stomach, Cloud stretched the last inch. Caught the chilled metal in his wavering hand first, before catching the heartbeat beneath. The name died on Cloud’s tongue, as his body shuddered–

His body shuddered, and he woke up. The ground he thought he was on jerked beneath him. A suffocating, unknown darkness wrapped around Cloud’s head. For an unhinged moment, he was convinced he’d woken up inside the wolf’s maw. He lashed out.

Nearby, he heard a harsh stream of curses. Cloud felt himself spinning, and thrashed against that too, while the voice grunted, _C’mon, just – lemme get a damn_ grip–!

Sheet ripped off, Cloud unrolled and landed hard on the floor. He kept still, the wind knocked out of him. Barret immediately leaned over the edge of the bed to look at him.

“Hey, you…”

Cloud slowly rose to his feet. Cloud slowly rose to his feet, his head bowed, his shoulders rising and falling with heavier and heavier breaths. Through his fallen fringe he saw Barret’s eyes follow him. His expression grim, in reaction to his own–

Uncertainty. No. Fear.

Cloud’s fingers shook to cover his brow. Not keeping him out of sight enough, he turned away. His first step had him reeling again. He stumbled, righted himself off the jamb, and then moved toward the stairs.

“Wait just a – Cloud–!”

Barret’s feet thumped hard on the steps behind him. When Cloud took a hard left to push blindly through the back door, Barret swung wide around the corner too. Hitting the porch railing was the only reason Cloud came to a stop.

He grabbed with both hands, the wood splintering and digging into his skin without him feeling. He crouched in front, still holding on with arms stretched above him, while he tried to suck in the night air.

Stale in a way he was too glad about – because only the slums had air that bad, being pumped down on them. A harder shudder wracked his already shivering back. He was drenched in his own cold sweat. Not rain. It didn’t rain, under the Plate. Didn’t rain. Right… right. He knew where he was.

Barret dropped to crouch, and peer at Cloud with little help from the dim streetlight.

“Cloud, c’mon, man… Tell me I can do somethin’ to – Hell, you’re… goddammit.”

Seeing enough, Barret cupped Cloud’s face to turn it toward him. Then rubbed his thumb over Cloud’s cheek to smear the dampness away.

Cloud’s arms dropped limply from the top of the railing. He took another hard, painful gasp of air. Swore at himself, Breath, _breathe,_ you can fucking do that much. His palms fumbled on Barret’s thighs. One found a home to land, on the middle of Barret’s chest.

Barret covered the back of it, completely surrounding and immediately warming it. Cloud clenched his eyes shut and focused. Pulled air in shakily through his nose, and let it out over his teeth. Following Barret, he took another breath. And another. Until the next and the next were easier.

His other hand loosely fisted the sweats Barret wore. “S-sorry–” Knew he had to be freaking even someone as stalwart as Barret out. Who wouldn’t be. Dealing with Cloud’s brand of fucked up.

But Barret shook his head. “Nah, don’t wanna hear that. You okay? ‘Cause I think it’s past time you got a fuckin’ hug.”

Cloud rest his forehead above their hand, in his relief. “Y-yeah.”

Next thing he knew, he was being bundled up in Barret’s arms. Being crushed in tight comfort, a powerful pressure that wasn’t painful at all. Barret’s single hand was a warm point on Cloud’s back. Tension falling, Cloud sagged fully into Barret, one more cough escaping him.

Eventually they must’ve made their way back inside. Cloud was being set down in a chair at the table still littered by his junk. He picked up a bottle only to set it down mere inches away.

Barret wasn’t talking. Which wasn’t like him, at all. Cloud realized. He really wasn’t going to ask what the hell that had been about. What had set Cloud off, that time.

He was keeping himself occupied, rearranging things behind the bar for the sake of rearranging them. Tifa was going to be pissed next time she came into work.

“Barret.” Barret hummed to show he’d heard. More glass clinked together on the shelf he was currently tidying.

“Could you. Uh. Sit.”

Barret must’ve sensed what Cloud was really asking of him. He took a good look at him, before he shuffled though the partition to join Cloud.

“Rufus Shinra was here. In Sector 7.”

Barret halted, halfway to lowering on the chair across from Cloud. “Wha – Rufus–?!” He shook his head briskly and sat the rest of the way down. “…All right. Go on.”

“Thought he was here for me.”

Barret immediately got worked back up. “Oh, _hell_ no – You better’ve told him where to stick it–”

“Yeah.” Cloud’s voice was rough where he had to drag it through his throat. “But…

“I’m thinking it was wrong of me to stay here.”

Cloud’s eyes flicked briefly toward Barret, before he had to look away from the hurt exposed there. He had to keep going.

“I’ve got this target on my back. Always have.” No way did Cloud trust Rufus to keep his word, that that was the last he’d seen of Shinra. “Surprised it took this long for someone to show up. This was all just… waiting to come down.”

“Hold on a damn second–”

“Was wrong to think I could stay in a place like this. Think I could get to have–”

Normalcy. A family. Too damn much to hope for–

“That’s enough,” growled Barret, “Quit your spiraling. It _damn_ wasn’t, and you _know_ it wasn’t. You think I’m gonna take that bullshit lying down?”

“Barret. I’m trying to do right by–”

 _You,_ but Barret finished for him, “By damn running. Thought you were done doing that.”

Tough love wasn’t good enough. Barret didn’t get it. “You don’t know–”

“I don’t, mister _ex-_ SOLDIER?” Cloud’s teeth clicked together, in shutting his mouth. “I’ve known since I met you that your shit involves Shinra. Ain’t nothin’ to do with that is gonna scare me off. Not Rufus showin’ up… not even you.”

Fucking stubborn idiot. Cloud sighed, harsh. Frustrated, but – so relieved. He realized finally there was no use arguing, because no way in hell was he going to win. Not against Barret. Only person he didn’t mind losing to. “Fine.”

“All right, then.”

Done, Cloud tilted his face down, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyelids. Barret leaned back in his chair too, obviously still exhausted himself. He frowned a moment later. But he waited for Cloud to look up for what he had to say.

“Somethin’ tells me Rufus ain’t the whole story. You said you _thought_ he was here for you.” Of course Barret had caught that. “So you gonna tell me what’s _really_ got you shaken up?”

The hand Cloud set on the table tightened into a fist. Barret had said he never had to talk about it. He’d also said he’d be there, to take the load if Cloud did.

He did. Want to. And even though he knew Barret didn’t think Cloud owed him anything… Cloud felt he did.

How could he do right by Barret, if he couldn’t do this?

Silently, Cloud got up. Shook his head slightly at Barret’s, “Hey, where you…”

Would be easier, to show him.

When Cloud climbed back down the stairs, he hovered at the table’s edge with his fist hanging in front of him. Nothing but to do it.

He set his knuckles down, and slowly, removed his hand.

The pendant glinted in the low light. A wolf’s snout, ears, and mane, artistically engraved in silver. More gaunt-looking than Cloud remembered. The smooth eyes glassy, and unseeing. Had it really always looked like that?

Barret’s shoulders bent forehead, so he could see it closer. Then he looked over at Cloud.

“This belong to Zack?”

A shaky breath, sharp and unexpected, stopped Cloud’s lungs. Had no time to brace himself, for a name unspoken in years. A ghost of its own. He’d been even less prepared for it to come from Barret.

“How…”

“Shouted it, in your sleep.” Barret added a lower, _Sorry._

And then he asked the only remaining question.

“So – who was he?”

The answer came right away. What Zack would’ve been more than ecstatic to hear Cloud call him. “We were friends.”

Cloud gave a faint shake of his head, though. No. That wasn’t even close. He struggled. “We were…”

“I get ya.”

Nod Barret gave when their stares connected told Cloud, he did get it. He waited, for Cloud to move around the table and settle back down, before he went on. “Always kinda worried, y’know… if there was ever anyone else you let those walls down around, before you and me met.”

There’d been one other.

He let his hand slide to cross the table, and brush the silver tuft of the wolf’s ear.

“His name was Zack Fair.”

**Author's Note:**

> @highfivestrife (nsfw)


End file.
